Sports Idiocy

[WARNING:  THIS POST CONTAINS SPORTS-RELATED TOPICS THAT MAY CAUSE INJURY TO CERTAIN READERS.]

I like sports.  But I'm not such a fanatic that I go overboard.  Karen, bless her heart, may think otherwise, considering she's accused me of having bromances with guys at sporting events when all I'm doing is talking with them about, well, sports.  But there are certain things I've never done and probably will never do.

For example:

I've never painted my face or body with my teams' colors.

I've never taken my shirt off in arctic weather at a sporting event.

I've never played hookey either from school or work for Opening Day.

I've never bid outrageous sums -- or any sums, frankly -- for sports memorabilia.

I've never stood in line to get an athlete's autograph.

I've never gone to Vegas for March Madness.

I've never paid over face-value for must-have tickets.

I've never gone to a victory parade.

I've never gotten a tattoo of one of my teams' logos.

I've never had season-tickets.

I've never attended a celebrity auction.

I've never had trading cards.

I've never bought sports memorabilia.

I've never driven over fifty miles to go to a game.

I've never bet on a sports outcome.

I don't root for teams just because they're successful.

I'm a Cubs' fan.

(c) 2013 The Truxton Spangler Chronicles