Thanksgiving in Kentucky

Karen and I visited her cousins in Kentucky over the Thanksgiving holiday.  It's always good to get together and catch up.  They're wonderful people, giving and thoughtful.  I enjoy going there because it's such a different world from what I'm used to.  Still, there are things that, in a vacuum, would cause an eyebrow or two to be raised, and last weekend was no exception.

The drive to Kentucky was fine.  We arrived slightly sooner than we anticipated, but still later than we wanted.  Of course, despite the need to be up at the buttcrack of dawn the next morning, we stayed up talking until around midnight.  The weather was mild, compared to the sleet and snow we were warned about by the talking heads of weather.

So, here's our Thanksgiving in a nutshell of ruminations and observations:

--  Any vegetable can be put in a casserole, apparently.  Corn, broccoli, squash, green beans -- you name it, if it grew in the ground it can be combined with other ingredients, put in a 13"x 9" pan, baked in the oven and people will eat it.  Just not men.

-- There is too little dark meat on most turkeys.

-- Furthermore, there can never be enough turkey at Thanksgiving.  Never.

-- Ohioans are a different lot.  On this I agree with Karen.  I also think they can be unnecessarily rude.

-- Driving 75 mph in a 55 mph zone for over fifty miles in some beautiful country is truly a delight, even if one is driving.

-- Sirius XM radio is to long trips what the Ipod is to shoveling snow or mowing the lawn:  It takes the drudgery out and replaces it with fun distraction.

-- I'm still shaking my head at that little person with the pornstache wearing overalls in the mall.

-- Not offering ESPN with basic cable television packages is un-American.

-- Card playing isn't too bad with the right people.

-- Talking with older people is just pure joy, and the ornrier they are the better.

-- That being said, watching some older people at auctions reminds me they would do better playing shuffleboard.

-- Speaking of auctions, is it rude to wear a hazmat suit to an auction?

-- Sometimes, just sometimes, GPS's screw up.  I'm just sayin'.

-- I'll probably jinx us by saying this, but this has to be about the third or fourth long trip that we've taken where a major accident occurred in the lanes going in the opposite direction, backing up traffic for miles and probably hours.

--  People move slower in West Virginia and Kentucky than they do in the north.  That being said, they don't have to move so slowly that others think rigor mortis is setting in.

--  I really need to pack more sensibly next time.  Sitting around in blue jeans instead of sweats all weekend was uncomfortable.

-- In the same vein, I need to take a look at my email at least once every three days.  I came back to over two hundred emails, most of them worthless.

--  Southern men are either very gallant or remarkably rude to their women.  There doesn't seem to be much middle ground.

--  Retailers playing bait-and-switch and other dirty games at any time of year tick me off, but especially at Thanksgiving, what with all the Black Friday and Cyber Monday offers going on.

--  Since when did microwaves become so expensive?

--  I know it was for the best, but I didn't like being without Sherman and Custer that long.

-- Speaking of our rock stars, it was no surprise that everyone fell in love with Sherman, but it shocked me that Custer jumped into the back of Karen's car unassisted.

--  How many bedazzled shirts of different colors do some people need?  Or Christmas tchotchkes?  Or colanders, for that matter?

--  People really need to learn what the left lane of a highway is for and drive accordingly.

-- And if anyone's interested, we bought gas for $2.94 a gallon in Lima, Ohio.  It's been years since I bought gas for less than $3.00 a gallon.  Get it while you can.

(c) 2013 The Truxton Spangler Chronicles