I like James Franco. I like Seth Rogen. I appreciate their reckless abandon and intelligence. I hope that this fiasco involving their latest joint effort, The Interview, doesn't ruin or retard their careers. Not that the movie is on a par with Ishtar, Gigli or any of the Twilight movies (not that I saw either of the first two; I had to sit through one of the last series, although any guy would have done the same thing were he in my position).
No, I refer to the deleterious effects the movie is having on the studio that produced and distributed it, Sony Pictures. The hacking scandal is said to possibly bring the studio to its knees which, if it does, would be partial payback for the Japanese occupation of Korea and the Korean comfort women who were dragooned into service by the Japanese during World War II. I, for one, would guffaw mightily were that to happen. Frankly, were it to happen, I wouldn't weep at all, except for the principle that free speech was infringed by the very tyranny that the First Amendment was designed to counterbalance.
Whether movies are made there or at any of the liberal bastions of cinema really doesn't concern me. I vote with my dollar when it comes to movies. No longer will I watch a Robert Redford, Oprah, Chris Rock or Tom Cruise movie simply because of their strident politics (as practiced by the first three) or by simply being the most outrageous wingnut on the planet (the last one; and while I'm at it, how on God's green earth was it decided that he was so gorgeous? He's short, has a hooked nose and is prone to sophomoric behavior. But I digress.). Nay, whether Sony survives or not is really none of my concern. I'm not rooting for its downfall, but if it were to happen, I hope it's epic.
Instead, what's captured my imagination is the outing of liberal hypocrisy in Hollywood with the release of emails sent by Sony executives. These champions of the left were shown to be hypocrites, two-faced, lying misanthropes of the first order. Between latent racism as evidenced by the emails about President Obama -- the Left's champion, remember -- and the bizarre comments about white actresses adopting black babies to the outright rude comments about stars such as Angelina Jolie being marginally talented brats, I don't know whether to laugh or cheer. Not because I agree with the content, mind you, but because these remarkable hypocrites are being shown for what they are.
Justice Louis Brandeis wrote that sunshine is the best disinfectant, and no recent example may prove that theorem as well as this email hacking scandal. I doubt anything will change much: Mea culpas will fly, blackmail will be paid -- Al Sharpton already has imitated Usain Bolt to extract his coups from Sony -- and the public will forget. Movies that weren't greenlighted before will be made no matter their lack of box office appeal. In short, Sony will be made to pay.
With any luck, this trend will make it around Hollywood. If President Obama's poor showing didn't do enough to silence the usually voluble Hollywood set, this surely will. I can only imagine how the other studios are racing with the clock to protect their networks from cyber attack. Right now, it's good to be a geek in Hollywood. The movie Revenge of the Nerds is being played out before out eyes -- well, behind the scenes, anyway.
What would be truly interesting would be if the MSM's emails were aired. It would be a hoot to see what the protective Fourth Estate has been saying during the Obama years. I doubt that there would be any difference between what would be found there and what has been found at Sony. The only difference is that the MSM could at least choose not to report it, using the same tactic for itself that it's used to guard the President for six years.
And for all this we have James Franco -- and Ivy League graduate -- and Seth Rogen to thank. Finally, someone from Canada has righted the cultural imbalance created when it foisted Justin Beiber on the United States. And every more incredulously, at last the Ivy League has done something right by the country.
Pigs must be flying in a frozen hell.
Perhaps the Cubs will win the World Series in my lifetime after all.
(c) 2014 The Truxton Spangler Chronicles
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Monday, December 15, 2014
More Monday Musings
It's been awhile, hasn't it. While I have a few minutes, I'm going to jot down some things that have occurred to me in my absence.
-- I don't know how many people will agree with this, but I think that two very underrated American actors are Stanley Tucci and John Tuturro. Given the breadth of the roles that they've had, I'm shocked one of them hasn't won an Oscar for best supporting actor yet. They're both so versatile.
-- Why does everyone insist on calling Kate Upton beautiful? She's a moderately attractive young woman with an enormous natural chest.
-- One night coming home from teaching, I was able to drive twenty-eight miles using cruise control without having to break or slow down once. Yesterday I again drove somewhere on the expressway using cruise control without having to break, but it was a much shorter distance. I can't believe that in all the trips Karen and I have made -- which have been for a considerable distance many a time -- that I've been able to duplicate this once.
-- I simply don't understand the need for people to use, much less overuse, exclamation marks. It's tantamount to using all caps intentionally. Either the person is overly excited about something, overly geeked unnecessarily or just unclear on the rules of punctuation mark usage.
-- Speaking of unnecessary things, I forgot to include something in my list of what I don't like about Christmas: Unnecessary insincerities. These are usually found in the mailbox from the person who cuts our lawn or the person who delivers our newspaper or the person who delivers our mail. Let's call it what it really is: Marketing. This has about as much to do with Christmas as panhandling has to do with practicing to flip pancakes with an iron skillet.
-- A week ago, Custer dawdled so long in doing his second round of business before I left for work that I forgot I'd put my book on the roof of the car and drove off with it on the roof. I realized when I got to work that I'd done this and worried that it was gone. My worry multiplied when I remembered that are road was being graded that day (we live on a country road). Imagine my relief when Karen told me our reliable neighbors out a sign that read Book Found On Road. I'm almost done finishing it now, and I'm going to lend it to our dear friends across the road so they can enjoy it too.
-- I am witnessing too many people driving in and out of traffic trying to improve their position at speeds topping eighty miles an hour. Karen says that I can never be sure, that those people may be in a rush to get to the hospital. The way I see it, they're headed for the hospital one of these days the way they're driving.
-- On a similar note, I've been rudely cut off two times for parking spaces in the last three weeks. I have enough trouble finding parking spaces legitimately to have jackholes competing with me for spots. One of these days it's not going to end well for these people. I'm going to be buying a lot of chalk.
-- Christmas shopping is fun when it's for other people.
-- While out shopping yesterday we were helped by a pleasant young woman with whom we chatted about engagements and such. Karen wandered off to look at something while I settled up, and I said something off the cuff about not giving up on men, despite the fact that this woman had been engaged three times. Actually, she said, I've been engaged once to a man and twice to women. I guess you could say I'm a bit of a free spirit.
You don't say....
-- Having a cat nuzzle my face at two or three in the morning is now SOP for bedtime. If you'd told me a year ago that that would be happening to me I'd have laughed in your face.
-- It hit fifty degrees today. No, I'm not apologizing to Al Gore.
-- Speaking of movies, Karen and I rented Jersey Boys the other night. I didn't know what to expect, although I'd heard good things about the movie. I was surprised by the backstory, but when the movie moved into the 70's, it got quite nostalgic for me, listening to the songs I grew up on. And Christopher Walken is always entertaining.
-- Coke or Pepsi? I'll take Dr. Pepper, thank you.
(c) 2014 The Truxton Spangler Chronicles
-- I don't know how many people will agree with this, but I think that two very underrated American actors are Stanley Tucci and John Tuturro. Given the breadth of the roles that they've had, I'm shocked one of them hasn't won an Oscar for best supporting actor yet. They're both so versatile.
-- Why does everyone insist on calling Kate Upton beautiful? She's a moderately attractive young woman with an enormous natural chest.
-- One night coming home from teaching, I was able to drive twenty-eight miles using cruise control without having to break or slow down once. Yesterday I again drove somewhere on the expressway using cruise control without having to break, but it was a much shorter distance. I can't believe that in all the trips Karen and I have made -- which have been for a considerable distance many a time -- that I've been able to duplicate this once.
-- I simply don't understand the need for people to use, much less overuse, exclamation marks. It's tantamount to using all caps intentionally. Either the person is overly excited about something, overly geeked unnecessarily or just unclear on the rules of punctuation mark usage.
-- Speaking of unnecessary things, I forgot to include something in my list of what I don't like about Christmas: Unnecessary insincerities. These are usually found in the mailbox from the person who cuts our lawn or the person who delivers our newspaper or the person who delivers our mail. Let's call it what it really is: Marketing. This has about as much to do with Christmas as panhandling has to do with practicing to flip pancakes with an iron skillet.
-- A week ago, Custer dawdled so long in doing his second round of business before I left for work that I forgot I'd put my book on the roof of the car and drove off with it on the roof. I realized when I got to work that I'd done this and worried that it was gone. My worry multiplied when I remembered that are road was being graded that day (we live on a country road). Imagine my relief when Karen told me our reliable neighbors out a sign that read Book Found On Road. I'm almost done finishing it now, and I'm going to lend it to our dear friends across the road so they can enjoy it too.
-- I am witnessing too many people driving in and out of traffic trying to improve their position at speeds topping eighty miles an hour. Karen says that I can never be sure, that those people may be in a rush to get to the hospital. The way I see it, they're headed for the hospital one of these days the way they're driving.
-- On a similar note, I've been rudely cut off two times for parking spaces in the last three weeks. I have enough trouble finding parking spaces legitimately to have jackholes competing with me for spots. One of these days it's not going to end well for these people. I'm going to be buying a lot of chalk.
-- Christmas shopping is fun when it's for other people.
-- While out shopping yesterday we were helped by a pleasant young woman with whom we chatted about engagements and such. Karen wandered off to look at something while I settled up, and I said something off the cuff about not giving up on men, despite the fact that this woman had been engaged three times. Actually, she said, I've been engaged once to a man and twice to women. I guess you could say I'm a bit of a free spirit.
You don't say....
-- Having a cat nuzzle my face at two or three in the morning is now SOP for bedtime. If you'd told me a year ago that that would be happening to me I'd have laughed in your face.
-- It hit fifty degrees today. No, I'm not apologizing to Al Gore.
-- Speaking of movies, Karen and I rented Jersey Boys the other night. I didn't know what to expect, although I'd heard good things about the movie. I was surprised by the backstory, but when the movie moved into the 70's, it got quite nostalgic for me, listening to the songs I grew up on. And Christopher Walken is always entertaining.
-- Coke or Pepsi? I'll take Dr. Pepper, thank you.
(c) 2014 The Truxton Spangler Chronicles
Sunday, December 7, 2014
Black Disingenuousness
Last night I read a piece about comments made by the comedian Chris Rock regarding the ongoing protests related to the Mike Brown shooting in Ferguson, Missouri. I can add another person to the list whose movies and comedy shows I will no longer be watching.
Mr. Rock believes that there has been no progress for blacks in this country. Apparently, Mr. Rock believes there can be no progress for blacks until whites take ownership of slavery. That is, whites should be contrite for slavery whether they were slaveowners (no longer possible, he admits, for a person to have been a slaveowner) or one's daddy was a slaveowner (again, impossible, the point is taken).
Essentially, Mr. Rock believes that white people need to take responsibility for slavery, understand how blacks haven't made progress -- despite evidence to the contrary -- and those actions will pave the way for true equality. In short, self-flagellation, public acts of contrition and an abandonment of all that we have to the black monolith is all that will satisfy Mr. Rock.
Others far smarter than I have already punctured holes in Mr. Rock's theory. I don't need to review the myriad shortcomings with his argument, an agenda so porous that not even the Obama administration would deign to try it on the American public. But I have some personal perspectives that I'll address to this race-baiter:
My forebears came to this country after Reconstruction. We had no hand in slavery. In fact, it is very likely that my family has slaves of its own in the past, given the often forgotten and largely ignored enslavement of the Irish by the Brits. My family has no business taking ownership of a wrong for which it has no responsibility. To claim that I or my family shares any responsibility for slavery committed by other whites suggests that Mr. Rock should share responsibility for all the gang bangers, rapists and murderers of African-American descent to whom he bears no relation. It's an invidious and illogical argument to make. But for blacks trying to cast the net of white guilt wide, sophistry is the perfect weapon.
What's more, as I've already detailed in this blog, my maternal grandfather did discriminate...against Poles and Germans and Italians and Russians, because of the way they treated him and his forebears who came to this country with weird accents and the Catholic faith. Instead, my grandfather hired blacks and Asians and Jews, because they, like the Irish, bore the similar effects of discrimination. I remain ambivalent about what my grandfather did -- sad that he discriminated but proud that he helped lift up peoples who were equally outliers -- but by no means will I ever take on responsibility for actions that I know for a fact -- historically and empirically -- we could have not have committed. Nor would any sane person suggest that Mr. Rock take on the responsibility for bad actions that other blacks committed. It's an unsound and therefore illogical argument.
What happened in Ferguson, Missouri, was unfortunate, but I do believe the grand jury got that one right. What happened in New York city was both unfortunate and wrong. I don't see how any logical person with more than a grade school education can think otherwise. I believe justice was attained in Ferguson but not in New York City. Remedies remain, including suit against the New York cop for violating Eric Garner's civil rights. Hopefully, there will be a review that leads to some sort of justice in that case.
As the black cop said on a radio show: Revenge is not the same as justice. Likewise, casting aspersions on other people won't change what's happened. But by trying to blame people for things to which they have no connection is ludicrous. It's high time blacks got a grip on this and stopped trying to blame whitey for everything that goes wrong. Sometimes, it's got nothing to do with race. I firmly believe that the outcome in the New York city grand jury is more a function of protecting the police than trying to get a white guy off for killing a black guy. Whatever it was, it's wrong and there should be some attempt to right this wrong.
But blaming whitey for everything is wrong.
(c) 2014 The Truxton Spangler Chronicles
Mr. Rock believes that there has been no progress for blacks in this country. Apparently, Mr. Rock believes there can be no progress for blacks until whites take ownership of slavery. That is, whites should be contrite for slavery whether they were slaveowners (no longer possible, he admits, for a person to have been a slaveowner) or one's daddy was a slaveowner (again, impossible, the point is taken).
Essentially, Mr. Rock believes that white people need to take responsibility for slavery, understand how blacks haven't made progress -- despite evidence to the contrary -- and those actions will pave the way for true equality. In short, self-flagellation, public acts of contrition and an abandonment of all that we have to the black monolith is all that will satisfy Mr. Rock.
Others far smarter than I have already punctured holes in Mr. Rock's theory. I don't need to review the myriad shortcomings with his argument, an agenda so porous that not even the Obama administration would deign to try it on the American public. But I have some personal perspectives that I'll address to this race-baiter:
My forebears came to this country after Reconstruction. We had no hand in slavery. In fact, it is very likely that my family has slaves of its own in the past, given the often forgotten and largely ignored enslavement of the Irish by the Brits. My family has no business taking ownership of a wrong for which it has no responsibility. To claim that I or my family shares any responsibility for slavery committed by other whites suggests that Mr. Rock should share responsibility for all the gang bangers, rapists and murderers of African-American descent to whom he bears no relation. It's an invidious and illogical argument to make. But for blacks trying to cast the net of white guilt wide, sophistry is the perfect weapon.
What's more, as I've already detailed in this blog, my maternal grandfather did discriminate...against Poles and Germans and Italians and Russians, because of the way they treated him and his forebears who came to this country with weird accents and the Catholic faith. Instead, my grandfather hired blacks and Asians and Jews, because they, like the Irish, bore the similar effects of discrimination. I remain ambivalent about what my grandfather did -- sad that he discriminated but proud that he helped lift up peoples who were equally outliers -- but by no means will I ever take on responsibility for actions that I know for a fact -- historically and empirically -- we could have not have committed. Nor would any sane person suggest that Mr. Rock take on the responsibility for bad actions that other blacks committed. It's an unsound and therefore illogical argument.
What happened in Ferguson, Missouri, was unfortunate, but I do believe the grand jury got that one right. What happened in New York city was both unfortunate and wrong. I don't see how any logical person with more than a grade school education can think otherwise. I believe justice was attained in Ferguson but not in New York City. Remedies remain, including suit against the New York cop for violating Eric Garner's civil rights. Hopefully, there will be a review that leads to some sort of justice in that case.
As the black cop said on a radio show: Revenge is not the same as justice. Likewise, casting aspersions on other people won't change what's happened. But by trying to blame people for things to which they have no connection is ludicrous. It's high time blacks got a grip on this and stopped trying to blame whitey for everything that goes wrong. Sometimes, it's got nothing to do with race. I firmly believe that the outcome in the New York city grand jury is more a function of protecting the police than trying to get a white guy off for killing a black guy. Whatever it was, it's wrong and there should be some attempt to right this wrong.
But blaming whitey for everything is wrong.
(c) 2014 The Truxton Spangler Chronicles
Saturday, December 6, 2014
What I Don't Like About Christmas
I love Christmas. I know, that doesn't make any sense given the title of this blogpost, but I do really like Christmas. There's just something about the atmosphere, the weather, the expectations, the smells, the music -- in short, there are plenty of wonderful elements about Christmas. I've had excellent Christmas holidays and I've had some clunkers, but as a general rule, I really do like the holiday.
There are, however, some aspects of the holiday that I despise. No holiday is perfect, of course, and Christmas is no exception. Here, then, are some things about Christmas that I simply can't abide:
Christmas sale season starts too soon: When sellers are advertising their sales before Halloween, for crying out loud, there's something seriously wrong. It's bad enough that Thanksgiving, a very prominent holiday in its own right, is thereby diminished, but so too is Veteran's Day. Nevermind that by putting the focus on consumerism the real reason behind Christmas is lost. There's no way to control this, unfortunately, and the ads are about as bad as the incessant political ads during election years. About the only way these ads are better than the politicians' ads is that the Christmas season is shorter...so far.
Luxury car ads: To be sure, people with money celebrate Christmas. But this notion that there are lots of people buying expensive cars, then wrapping them with humongous red bows in the middle of their driveways -- with no one noticing, it should be said -- is poppycock. It also cracks me up that some of the people doing this are so young I wonder where they're getting their money to buy these cars. Furthermore, how is it that the car that is sitting in the driveway surrounded by snow isn't covered either in snow or salt along the bottom of the chassis? And just where does someone buy bows that big, anyway?
Radio stations playing nothing but Christmas music: I like Christmas music just fine. In fact, I even enjoy Christmas jazz, when during the year I can't tolerate jazz at all. The the incessant assault on my senses by the neverending repetition of Christmas music is just horrible.
Gift cards: These are a four letter word to me: L-A-Z-Y. It means, I don't care enough about you to actually put some thought into buying you a gift. The only caveat to this is that for stocking stuffers -- given along with other tangible gifts -- these are fine. But when someone hands a person an envelope with a plastic card in it and nothing more, that's just L-A-M-E.
Jews singing Christmas songs: Since when did Jews accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior? For the life of me, I don't understand their involvement in our religious holiday. By virtue of their involvement, they're basically trying to turn it into a secular, nondenominational holiday that everyone can enjoy. If they're willing to convert, fine. Otherwise, let us goyim have our own holidays, and we'll stay away from Hanukkah Harry. Come to think of it, I think I may have just hit on the reason for the early advertising season and the non-stop Christmas music....Barbra Streisand has enough money, she's intolerably liberal and she shouldn't be issuing recordings of Christian music. I love Idina Menzel and could listen to her sing all day. But I won't be buying her greatest hits Christmas album -- should she record one -- any time soon.
Weird Christmas confections: I eat more than my fair share of pies, cakes and cookies. But it seems that Christmas gives bakers a license to experiment with my taste buds. I'm not very adventurous when it comes to eating, and if I see something and can't readily identify what's in it, I'm not going to try it. And the overarching need to put glittery sparkles on everything just turns me off. I know: It's more for everybody else, and I'm quite fine with that.
Christmas weather: I love snow at Christmas. The problem is that we can't count on it. Typically what happens is that it's chilly and rainy on Christmas Eve and Christmas day, then it snows shortly thereafter. I know no one can control the weather, but there's something wrong with grey, boring, drippy weather on Christmas.
New covers of Christmas classics: To be fair, successive generations are entitled to make their own memories of Christmas, and if that involves covering classic songs or remaking movies, I suppose that's to be expected. Just do it well. Listening to some weird, stylized version of Silent Night just doesn't do anything to ring in the season. And having Dyan Cannon try to redo Christmas in Connecticut is nothing more than desecration.
Do They Know It's Christmastime?: Leave it to the Brits to lay on the schmalz. I forget the inspiration behind this We Are The World wannabe effort, and I really don't care. Having enough tone-deaf singers involved in this project to make Bob Dylan feel at home only adds to the dysfunction.
Wrapping presents: This is highly personal for me. I know that there are other times when gift wrapping is expected, but Christmas is the Super Bowl of gift wrapping. Accordingly, I am about as welcome when it comes to gift wrapping at Christmas I stink. Karen says otherwise but I know she's just being nice. I really do stink at it.
Ugly Christmas sweaters: I understand why people chuckle at these, but I don't see the need to affirmatively seek out these sweaters and wear them to parties. If I were going to do something similar, I'd get one of those horrid 1980's Houston Astros uniforms:
or a vintage Vancouver Canucks sweater:
Besides, at my size, if I could find one of these in my size and wore it outside, I might be mistaken by an overeager hunter and shot dead:
That wouldn't be very festive.
(c) 2014 The Truxton Spangler Chronicles
There are, however, some aspects of the holiday that I despise. No holiday is perfect, of course, and Christmas is no exception. Here, then, are some things about Christmas that I simply can't abide:
Christmas sale season starts too soon: When sellers are advertising their sales before Halloween, for crying out loud, there's something seriously wrong. It's bad enough that Thanksgiving, a very prominent holiday in its own right, is thereby diminished, but so too is Veteran's Day. Nevermind that by putting the focus on consumerism the real reason behind Christmas is lost. There's no way to control this, unfortunately, and the ads are about as bad as the incessant political ads during election years. About the only way these ads are better than the politicians' ads is that the Christmas season is shorter...so far.
Luxury car ads: To be sure, people with money celebrate Christmas. But this notion that there are lots of people buying expensive cars, then wrapping them with humongous red bows in the middle of their driveways -- with no one noticing, it should be said -- is poppycock. It also cracks me up that some of the people doing this are so young I wonder where they're getting their money to buy these cars. Furthermore, how is it that the car that is sitting in the driveway surrounded by snow isn't covered either in snow or salt along the bottom of the chassis? And just where does someone buy bows that big, anyway?
Radio stations playing nothing but Christmas music: I like Christmas music just fine. In fact, I even enjoy Christmas jazz, when during the year I can't tolerate jazz at all. The the incessant assault on my senses by the neverending repetition of Christmas music is just horrible.
Gift cards: These are a four letter word to me: L-A-Z-Y. It means, I don't care enough about you to actually put some thought into buying you a gift. The only caveat to this is that for stocking stuffers -- given along with other tangible gifts -- these are fine. But when someone hands a person an envelope with a plastic card in it and nothing more, that's just L-A-M-E.
Jews singing Christmas songs: Since when did Jews accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior? For the life of me, I don't understand their involvement in our religious holiday. By virtue of their involvement, they're basically trying to turn it into a secular, nondenominational holiday that everyone can enjoy. If they're willing to convert, fine. Otherwise, let us goyim have our own holidays, and we'll stay away from Hanukkah Harry. Come to think of it, I think I may have just hit on the reason for the early advertising season and the non-stop Christmas music....Barbra Streisand has enough money, she's intolerably liberal and she shouldn't be issuing recordings of Christian music. I love Idina Menzel and could listen to her sing all day. But I won't be buying her greatest hits Christmas album -- should she record one -- any time soon.
Weird Christmas confections: I eat more than my fair share of pies, cakes and cookies. But it seems that Christmas gives bakers a license to experiment with my taste buds. I'm not very adventurous when it comes to eating, and if I see something and can't readily identify what's in it, I'm not going to try it. And the overarching need to put glittery sparkles on everything just turns me off. I know: It's more for everybody else, and I'm quite fine with that.
Christmas weather: I love snow at Christmas. The problem is that we can't count on it. Typically what happens is that it's chilly and rainy on Christmas Eve and Christmas day, then it snows shortly thereafter. I know no one can control the weather, but there's something wrong with grey, boring, drippy weather on Christmas.
New covers of Christmas classics: To be fair, successive generations are entitled to make their own memories of Christmas, and if that involves covering classic songs or remaking movies, I suppose that's to be expected. Just do it well. Listening to some weird, stylized version of Silent Night just doesn't do anything to ring in the season. And having Dyan Cannon try to redo Christmas in Connecticut is nothing more than desecration.
Do They Know It's Christmastime?: Leave it to the Brits to lay on the schmalz. I forget the inspiration behind this We Are The World wannabe effort, and I really don't care. Having enough tone-deaf singers involved in this project to make Bob Dylan feel at home only adds to the dysfunction.
Wrapping presents: This is highly personal for me. I know that there are other times when gift wrapping is expected, but Christmas is the Super Bowl of gift wrapping. Accordingly, I am about as welcome when it comes to gift wrapping at Christmas I stink. Karen says otherwise but I know she's just being nice. I really do stink at it.
Ugly Christmas sweaters: I understand why people chuckle at these, but I don't see the need to affirmatively seek out these sweaters and wear them to parties. If I were going to do something similar, I'd get one of those horrid 1980's Houston Astros uniforms:
or a vintage Vancouver Canucks sweater:
Besides, at my size, if I could find one of these in my size and wore it outside, I might be mistaken by an overeager hunter and shot dead:
That wouldn't be very festive.
(c) 2014 The Truxton Spangler Chronicles
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