Smart phones

There are those of us for whom smart phones are anything but.  I used to have what I referred to as a dumb phone, because all it did -- and did imperfectly at best -- was make phone calls.  No texting, no photos, no internet.  Just impressively bad reception when it worked at all.  Had I lost it or had it stolen, I wouldn't have been upset at all.

Due to the dictates of the cellphone contract Karen has, I had to upgrade this month.  I didn't even want to look at phones with all the bells and whistles that cost nearly $300.  I wanted one for .99 if I could get it, but the sound quality was better with the $49 phone, so over my objections we went with that.

The next day on our interstate drive, I had an endless stream of problems using the thing.  Some of it no doubt was operator error.  But there were problems that couldn't be my fault, such as the phone constantly going to sleep when it wasn't used and it locking without my locking it.  Heck, I couldn't even lock it because I have no idea how to lock it.

Karen bravely looked at the owner's manual which was in reality nothing more than advanced advertising.  She gave up and told me that I'd have to call AT&T the next day to get the password with which to unlock my phone.

So I dutifully called the company and asked for technical support. As is my wont whenever dealing with assistance for technology, I made sure the person was imbued with endless patience.  I then explained the problem and tried to get her to understand that what she was asking me to locate on my phone wasn't on my phone.  To wit:  She asked me to go to Settings, then Display and look for some feature that would allow me to lock certain things on the phone.  The only things that were under the Lock Screen feature were Random and My Pictures, neither of which was going to let me keep my phone from going to sleep in a nanosecond and requiring me to unlock the phone.

The fact that my phone even locks irks me.  It's like have a childproof medicine vial when there are no children in the house.  Why in the heck do I need to have a lock on my phone?  What would happen in an emergency if I were to need quick assistance?  I'd have to, absurdly, wake up my phone (wake up a frigging phone?  What idiot thought this one up?), then unlock it (as if I'd store valuables in there) just so I could then struggle to call someone using a smart phone that is infinitely more difficult and time-consuming than the old dial phones were.

I understand that for many people, smart phones are cutting-edge technology.  All I know is that they're a royal pain in my backside.

All I want to do is make phone calls with it.

(c) 2013 The Truxton Spangler Chronicles