As I may have mentioned a time or two over the last couple of months, I have limited access to television since I'm on the austerity plan. I have an antenna hook-up that leaves a lot to be desired. Consequently, the number of stations I can receive legally is extremely small. Until my recent move within the same hostel-style accomodations, I was able to get the local NBC, Fox and CBS stations, not to mention a couple of weirdo stations that do nothing than promote products all day long. Since my move downstairs to combat the heatwave that is summer, our stations have been reduced to one: CBS.
It could be worse, I suppose, although there are those who would argue that it's better this way, because it forces one to read more. Considering what's on CBS, I'm getting in plenty of reading about Abraham Lincoln and Oliver Wendall Holmes, both of whose biographies measure roughly six hundred pages each (Lincoln has just released the Emancipation Proclamation and Holmes has just joined the Massachusetts Supreme Court, if anyone's keeping track).
Anyway, I was stuck watching the finale of some show about American's top amateur baker because there was nothing else on that night. Imagine my surprise when one of the two judges standing beside the host, Jeff Foxworthy, a decidedly Southern comedian, was some Brit. If anyone's spent a minute reading any of my blog posts, he can only imagine the hackles this development raised with me.
There are some shows that have been imported from that island: American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance and perhaps something else. For as much as I loathe and despise Simon Cowell, if those were his creations, I can understand why he's a judge on the American version. But why is it that every reality competition we have -- almost -- has a Brit on it??? America's Next Top Model, Dancing With the Stars, even Top Chef, have all had, at one time or another, a British judge. Ignoring for the moment the staple arguments about having kicked them out of this country twice and having saved their arses in two world wars, why is it that we need Brits judging American competitions? Are there no reliable American judges out there? About the only two reality shows that come readily to mind where there hasn't been a Brit judge -- yet -- are The Amazing Race (only the best reality show not involving Padma Lakshmi) and The Voice, and the former is hosted by a Kiwi and ironically the latter is a Dutch creation.
I'm sick and tired of hearing British voices on American television. I studiously avoid the BBC Channel for a reason. Instead, we have Brits hawking wares, announcing the news or reporting it, acting on our shows and commenting on American society as if they know everything. Why Americans allow this to happen is beyond me. It's as pervasive as when Brits play all the ancient Greek or Roman roles in movies. I never knew Laurence Olivier resembled a Roman patrician.
Sure, my Anglo-hatred -- because I don't fear them, I just don't like 'em -- fuels this rant. But honestly, when one thinks about it, it doesn't make any sense. I'm not talking about British stars who come over to act in movies or what not -- there are plenty of Americans in Brit movies and shows, I imagine, so what's fair for the goose, etc. -- but all these unknown Brits being hired as if they're more authoritative than Americans is galling. I don't know what the relative populations are, but I'm quite sure that there are of more of us than there are of them. Someone, somewhere, in this great nation must be competent enough to pitch the latest cleaning gizmo on television.
This trend rankles me. Soon enough, we'll have Brits representing the Franklin Mint, or playing dentists in commercials (o' the irony). It's disgusting, I tell you.
And besides, Americans know plenty about what makes bakery goods good.
Just look at our waistlines.
(c) 2013 The Truxton Spangler Chronicles
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