DWTS and The Voice

I must say this at the outset:  Insofar as dancing is concerned, I have two left feet.  And when it comes to singing, I can hold a tune, but no one will ever confuse me with Josh Groban.  That my wife likes to dance with me and listen to me sing speaks to her absolute love for me overtaking her good taste. 

Because my wife enjoys both dancing and singing, she became a fan of the shows Dancing With the Stars and The Voice.  Because I love my wife, and because I can sit quietly and read while she watches her shows, I spend time with her in the living room absorbing the goings-on.  That doesn't mean I haven't seen a thing or two.

First, allow me to reiterate:  I may have been a good athlete in my day, but when in comes to dancing, I always suggest that we do it in the middle of a large crowd with the lights dimmed so no one is repulsed by the sight of my awkward jiggling.  Someone may get the mistaken impression that I'm having a seizure and call paramedics.  And as for singing, I enjoy it, but I don't have the skill to perform in front of people.  The closest I would ever come to doing that is karaoke fortified by adult beverages in a place to which I'll never return.  I was a member of my high school choir, but no one ever suggested I audition for a solo.  Wisely. 

Still, I am a watcher of television, and having done that capably for over fifty years, I have developed a taste for what's good and bad about television shows.  DWTS is downright horrible and The Voice is troublesome.  Allow me to explain:

DWTS billed itself, at its inception, as ballroom dancing being brought to the masses.  It has devolved into vaudeville crossed with tawdry carnality.  It's almost as if Andy Hardy and Betsy Booth got lost in a kinky jazzercise club.  Scantily clad men and women with undeniably toned bodies incorporate as few ballroom dance moves into routines that stray as far from ballroom as they can and still earn points.  Sure, they call them foxtrot, waltz and tango, but the truth is, over the course of the season, few dances are true ballroom dances and are more properly fusion dances that allow for entertainment to overwhelm the dancing.

How do I know this?  Once upon a time I took a ballroom dance course.  Admittedly, I'm no good at anything beyond a waltz, but I know what's supposed to happen.  What happens on DWTS strays from what I was taught.

As if that weren't bad enough, the schmaltz factor is neverending.  Pro dancers are turned into interviewers cum therapists as these staged discussions about the celebrities insecurities are examined for the cameras.  Nevermind that these celebrities are typically off the C list; that they try to rope the audience into feeling for them because -- look!  they're just like the rest of us! -- they have problems which, in turn, garners votes that have nothing to do with the performances, is nauseating.  It's almost as if I'm watching some sort of dancing therapy show for celebrities. 

Then combine that with the fact that there are ringers in the crowd.  This year's winner is from the Broadway plan Hamilton...in which he dances.  Other winners have included an ice dancer, Olympic gymnasts and professional athletes.  Sure, a few outliers have won, but the thing is rigged.  It's largely a popularity contest until the finale, when the one or two celebrities with any dancing chops are pitted against each other and the popular non-dancers have been eliminated, forcing people to actually vote for someone who can dance.

The judges on the show include some woman who in her effusiveness once infamously misused coño with cojones, a superannuated Brit who tries to keep the dancing on the rails and an Italian dancer whose claim to fame is having appeared as a background dancer in an Elton John video.  Their antics add to the lack of luster the show presents.  They've decided to add guest judges from time to time, including Shania Twain.  Egads. 

Little vignettes are staged as props for the dancing.  The singing, which is just covers of popular songs, leaves a lot to be desired.  The endless mugging for the camera is sickening, as is the over-the-top cutesy behavior of couples who are introduced before their dances is something I would expect from children, not professionals and celebrities.  I've seen teenagers act with more aplomb in public.  That this is encouraged is beyond belief.

Usually, when a celebrity is eliminated, there are unctuous thanks for the pro's tutoring, a profession of undying love and a promise that the celebrity will continue dancing in the future.  It's like revisiting high school where everyone professes things when they sign each other's yearbooks. 

From time to time, no doubt, there's a dance or two that is memorable or moving.  But most of the dances are just overwrought productions designed to tug on viewers' heartstrings.  Some of the professional dancers are excellent.  Derek Hough is a genius, as is Mark Ballas. The problem with Ballas' involvement in the show is that his strengths are more suited to Broadway than the ballroom. 

The Voice, on the other hand, started out trying to play it straight.  Contestants sing for four celebrity judges whose chairs are turned so they aren't swayed by the appearance of the contestant.  If a judge likes what he or she hears, a buzzer is hit to turn the chair around announcing to the contestant that that judge wants him or her on his team.  If multiple judges turn around, the contestant picks which judge will be his coach.  Once the teams are picked, there are knockout rounds within the teams.  This is the first problem that I have with the show. 

The two teammates sing a song together, alternating lyrics.  How anyone is supposed to decide which vocalist is better from this is anyone's guess.  I suppose professional singers can tell; Karen always points out when someone it pitchy, something that completely escapes me, so I'm probably wrong on this point. 

After the teams are set, a further winnowing down of the teams is made.  The vocalists are guided not only by their coaches but by celebrity coaches brought in to tutor them.  Admittedly, they do instruct the contestants.  Then the contestants sing songs either they chose or that were chosen for them by their coaches. 

Here's another problem I have with the show.  At this juncture, the singers are all marvelously gifted.  Virtually any of these people could win the competition.  Sure, there are styles that I don't particularly like, but the talent that reaches this level is astounding.  If the touchstone for this show is American Idol, at no point in that show's history did it have the abundance of quality that The Voice has at this stage in the competition every single year.  This year alone there have to be between five and ten contestants who could have their own recording contracts,  When did that ever happen at Idol?

The judges' votes at this point seem random.  I guess their positioning themselves to have the best contestants for the finale when the public actually votes for the winner.  And this hits another problem with the show:  When they're interviewed prior to singing for the first time -- and at various points as they progress -- more backstories are elicited that play on the viewers' emotions.  I understand people have lives and histories, but the editing that puts these stories out there is done for effect.  And as much as the novelty of having judges not see the vocalists when they do the blind auditions is cool, the viewers see the contestants from the get-go, so hot women and men must earn extra votes for that.

Despite its superior production values, The Voice has fallen victim to its popularity.  At times, it engages in cutesy segments that detract from the purpose of the show just to fill time.  It's not as bad as DWTS, but it's annoying nonetheless.

One final comparison between the shows is worth pointing out:  For as bad as DWTS is, Tom Bergeron is an excellent host.  In fact, he's the only reason I pay any attention.  He's as quick-witted as anyone in show business.  On The Voice, Carson Daly, for as nice a person as he is, is a wooden host, given to over-exuberant reactions at the most inappropriate times.  He's a seemingly nice guy, but he's as stolid in his role as Bergeron is easily personable.

The Voice is the superior show if for no other reason than the product it produces is better.  The talent level of the contestants is so much higher than that on DWTS.  Even if it weren't, the stupid schmaltzy vignettes, the unctuous love everyone has for each other, the attempt at creating a DWTS family -- it all just rubs the wrong way.

But again, there's a reason I don't dance or sing for a living.

(c) 2017 The Truxton Spangler Chronicles