Travel

I'm hardly a globetrotter.  I've visited exactly six foreign countries, including Canada, and only about a third of the states in the Union.  I know some states very well, others not so much.  I like traveling, as long as I avoid tourist traps and crowds.  Seeing new places and experiencing new things feeds my curiosity.  I really do wish I'd traveled more in my youth.  Unfortunately, when my family finally went beyond Wisconsin, which as about the only place we ever traveled when I was younger, I had to work in the summers to put myself through school.  Although that sounds harsh, consider that nowadays, there's no way a kid can work during the summer to put him- or herself through college for the upcoming year.

This morning I got to thinking about places I would never visit, places that I have no interest in seeing.  That led to places that I'd love to see but am unlikely to ever see.  So this is my list of the places I don't want to see and the places I would love to see but won't.

                                                       PLACES I NEVER WANT TO SEE

India -- There isn't enough money in the world that can make me want to go there.  It's filthy, overcrowded and filled with people unctuously doing jobs outsourced there by U.S. companies.  Don't tell me about the Taj Mahal; pictures suffice.  I like spicy food, and I would probably like curried food, but I can get that Stateside. 

Pakistan:  I'm not stupid:  I'm an American.  Pakis don't like us, which is fine with me.  The feeling is reciprocated.  There is absolutely nothing worth my time in Pakistan...unless it's to see where Osama bin Laden was killed.  But I doubt that's a tourist attraction.

Great Britain:  Even if I weren't Irish and American, I don't think there's anything on that wretched island that would entice me to visit.  I've promised Karen I'll go to Scotland -- if it's ever safe to fly again -- and Scotland does look beautiful from the pictures I've seen.  Until Great Britain gives us back our Six Counties in the North, I'm not going there.

Japan:  I don't like the culture.  I don't like the food.  I don't like the women.  I don't like crowds.  I don't like that Japan still tries to blame us for World War II.  I'm never going there.

Brazil:  I know, great bodies abound there.  Still, there's nothing there that interests me.  I'm not nuts about soccer.  I don't speak Portuguese.  I don't like Oscar Schmidt.  I think Giselle Bundchen isn't all she's cracked up to be.  I'll take a pass.

 Russia:  If I liked museums more, I'd go to St. Petersburg.  About the only thing that would attract me to Russia would be to see Stalingrad, one of the defining battles of the Second World War.  The food stinks, I have no interest in touring gulags and it gets terribly cold.  No thanks.

Asia:  Frankly, I could say that there isn't a single country in Asia that interests me.  I'd go to Iwo Jima simply because of the battle, but nowhere else there interests me.  I don't like the food, the culture, the women -- nada.

                                                       PLACES I WANT TO SEE

Australia-New Zealand:  Without a doubt, this is the number one place on this list.  Given my Irish background, I'm curious to see where my forebears were exiled.  Beyond that, the landscape is austere yet beautiful.  New Zealand is rapturously beautiful.  The people are friendly and the food looks inviting.  Heck yeah, sign me up.  Given the distance, however, it would have to be a two-fer.

Machu Picchu:  The rest of Peru does nothing for me.  This place is mystical.  The problem is that having had pulmonary embolisms, I think I'm disqualified from going up there.

South Africa:  I have no desire to see the rest of Africa, even the pyramids, but the coastline of South Africa is rugged and rustic and dangerous.  That alone warrants a trip.

Norway:  A pattern is developing.  The fjords of Norway have always beckoned me.  I love their ruggedness.  I'd have to tolerate the rather bland cuisine, but the people are supposed to be nice and the landscape beautiful.

Greece:  I love the food.  The islands are intriguing.  The culture is beyond enticing.  The only downsides for me are the pollution and the anti-American sentiment.

Vancouver/Banff:  Now that I've finally spent some time in Canada, the only places in that country that I want to see are the picturesque Vancouver and the bucolic Banff.  From all the pictures I've seen, these two places are not to be missed.

The trouble with wanting to travel to these places is that air travel nowadays is scarier than ever.  Vancouver and Banff I can probably get to safely enough.  I'd love to travel there by train.  The other places I'll probably never see, but that's all right.  There is so much of this country I haven't seen that I can spend the rest of my life visiting it.

(c) 2016 The Truxton Spangler Chronicles