Things That Never Fail

It's a new year, but I have the same sardonic outlook.  It hit me when I was driving around the other day.  Sometimes, no matter what I'm doing, some things never fail to happen no matter how much I'd like them to:

--  If I'm approaching a green light that I could see has been green for some time, if I speed up to get through the light before it changes, it never fails that it turns yellow about twenty yards before I am about to hit the intersection.

--  If Custer is out with us (sometimes he has to stay in another room because of the unexpected antipathy he has for Mosby and the dangerous outcomes that result therefrom), and I sit down to eat dinner, it never fails that he'll look at me and start whimpering for me to take him out.  Similarly, if I take him out and he pees, ten minutes after I get him in the house he starts whimpering at me to take him out so he can poop.

--  If I am in one room of the house, it never fails that, as she's walking away from me into another room in the house, Karen will start telling me something.

--  If I'm looking for a handicapped parking space, they'll all be taken.  If I'm not looking for one, there will be some available.

--  When I get back to my car from a store or restaurant, and there's no car parked in front of mine that will otherwise allow me to pull through and not have to back out of my space, just as I'm getting ready to drive off, someone will pull into the heretofore vacant space in front of me.

--  If I hold the elevator for someone who's running to catch it, and I'm going to a floor somewhere north of ten, the person for whom I just saved the elevator will get on and punch the second floor.

--  If I buy something at a store because it hasn't been on the shelves for awhile, it never fails that the next week it will go on sale in a BOGO promotion.

--  If I forget to dump my glass of iced tea in the sink at the end of the night, Bupkes, our cat, will play with it and spill it all over the coffee table.

--  It never fails that I can't start an engine that requires a pull-chord, so I give it to Karen and she gets it going right away.

--  It never fails that my teams fail to make the playoffs, or if they do -- especially when they're heavily favored -- they lay an egg (except for the glorious years of 2010, 2013, 2015 and 2016).

--  It never fails that when I absolutely have to get a rush job done, the computer freezes and no one with the knowledge to get it unstuck is available.

-- It never fails when I open a yogurt to try and eat healthily, the cup spits yogurt on my shirt.

--  It never fails that when I try to untie my shoes, I invariably pull the end of the shoelaces that won't untie the knot.

--  It never fails that when I have a good idea for a blogpost, and I come up with what I consider brilliant points to make, that by the time I get to the blog...I forget half of them.

Sorry.

(c) 2020 The Truxton Spangler Chronicles